its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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