a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
only you would photoshop your dick
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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