Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just want nice things and good sex
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
