Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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