One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
