Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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