ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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