You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
