yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
