It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
