Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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