Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
