What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
