mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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