i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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