I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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