he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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