i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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