your thong is hanging out like whoa
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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