a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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