So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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