He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
