But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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