you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
