didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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