we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
