So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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