remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I lost the right to judge tonight
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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