So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
