Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize