whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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