i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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