I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
