And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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