Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
