So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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