he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Im part way to drunk.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
