I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
