oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
