Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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