so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
