Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I think people are normalizing furries
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
