We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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