dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just found puke in my bra..
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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