I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
