Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize