I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize