I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
