YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
