i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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