actually, I'm a sock model
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
