If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
