how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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