I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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