you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
