I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
bring money and cleavage
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
