I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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