the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
