of course. lets lasso hookers.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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