Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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